What extended nursing looks like for us | Mama Series

What extended nursing looks like for us | Mama Series

Extended nursing? What’s that all about you ask? Well, to be quite honest with you I’m not even totally sure. It seems like a strange title to have ” earned” I guess? Because to us this just seems like normal life. I don’t even like the term “extended” it makes it seem like its overdue, or gone on too long.. but really we just prolonged a normal behavior.  I never thought I would be here. In fact I blogged about it before.  I was excited just to make it to 10 months of breastfeeding my second daughter lakeleigh since that’s how long I nursed my first daughter. With my first it wasn’t this beautiful nursing relationship that some speak of, in fact looking back, it may have been less stressful to have just switched her to formula, however it did have some beautiful moments, and for those I am thankful. Upon turning 10 months my first daughter just gave up on it, and I was ok with that, I enjoyed bottle feeding her after that with frozen stored breast milk I had pumped until she was 11 months. I loved the way she snuggled while I fed her, and her big blue eyes would look all around the room.

Upon having my second daughter I just wanted the same for her, but honestly I would have settled for 6 month of breast feeding. Now, I must first stop here and tell you that while I am a breast feeding advocate, I am also a bottle feeding, formula feeding advocate. I am really an advocate for being the best mom you can, and feeding your baby in the best way that you can. You will never hear me say ” breast is best” because while it has incredible nutrition value and the bonding is beautiful it may not be best for everyone, and so to you .. the mom sitting in her car nursing under a nursing cover, or the mama in the grocery store late at night buying a can of formula, to the mom who struggled hard with nursing and then switched to a bottle with formula, to the mama who started bottles from day one, and to the one still nursing way past when she thought she would…. I salute you, you are an incredible mom doing the best you know how for your baby and that is whats best. 

Now that weve cleared that up….

I thought I would nurse my second till 10 months, and then when it came easily for us, much, much easier then my first I thought surely we could nurse until 1 and then stop. As we neared the first birthday, I just knew that wasn’t going to happen…. after all she is my last baby, and you know the saying about last babies…. it’s hard to give up the baby stage. So I figured we would press on until 18 months but if she decided to stop at any point I would be happy with our journey and proud of what we accomplished…. then we passed right by 18 months, and were down to just naptime, and bedtime nursing, and the occasional woke up crying, tooth coming in, really sad day nursing session, but usually just those 2 times in a day. Well, here we are just 2 weeks from her second birthday. I never thought I would be here, a nursing mama with an almost two year old, but I am, and I love it. I wish I could tell you that my mom friends, and family members are all supportive of the decision that I have made for my body and my baby that affects them in no way at all, but sadly… I would be lying to you. I wish I could tell you that when people found out that I was still nursing my almost two year old 2 times a day in my own home that some of them don’t give me a strange look and ask ” when are you going to stop” , or tell me that ” soon we’re going to sit you down and talk you through a 12 step process” … but they do. Maybe they don’t mean anything by it, but again…. it’s a decision that I have made, for my own daughter… my last baby, and my body, that takes place in my home, and yet still people have an opinion…. Thankfully I have pretty thick skin about these kind of things and laugh it off, or I tell them just what I just typed out…. my body, my baby, my decision…..

I think that society at large views nursing past the first birthday as strange, or a bit crazy….I think part of the issues is because you don’t see toddlers out nursing the way you do an infant so publicly. In your head maybe you are thinking of the all nighters nursing every two hours, when really it’s not even a full hour combined all day.. just naptime and bedtime. I don’t nurse when we are out, it’s not part of her nutrition for the day so if we have to miss a session we do and it’s fine. I nurse her in my home or room if we are traveling. There’s no shirt pulling, and crying for it in public… I can set boundaries for myself and for her. I don’t pump anymore, I don’t even own a pump.. there’s no milk in the freezer, or bottles in our house… Just because you don’t see a lot of moms nursing toddlers doesn’t mean they aren’t….It’s not weird, or wrong…but I may have thought that way slightly before I was here because I just didn’t know…. but now I like to think I’m a pretty normal mama…. I mean, we get up and get the kids ready for school the same way everyone else does, I wash my hair, I wear make-up and shop trendy styles…. I do care what others think about me, and want them to think the best…I’m just not ready to take away the one constant in my babies life, the one that creates comfort, the one thing she’s known since birth.  maybe you just don’t understand why I “cant’ say no” or havn’t chosen to “just stop”, so…

Here’s why I continue to nurse my almost Two year old….. will we be nursing when she turns Three? no….. I can already see this coming to an end sooner rather then later, but for now, I hold on for these reasons…

I always dreamed of a beautiful nursing relationship and for medical reasons including a failure to thrive diagnosis I never got that with my first incredible daughter.

This baby took 2 years of fertility treatments, a pregnancy loss, and then high risk pregnancy with a traumatic delivery.

There’s quite a few physical and psychological benefits for both a mother and child that extend their nursing time.. I mean hello, the flu this year… crazy…. why not boost the immune system.

The world heath organization suggest nursing until two years old.

It’s easy… Im not going to lie, extended nursing makes going back to sleep after a bad dream or after getting up to go potty in the middle of the night  a breeze, and falling asleep in a hotel or strange place much easier as well.

I nurse her because she is my last, I will never nurse another baby.

I nurse her because in the quiet and still of the night she falls asleep in my arm and melts right into my body and its just us.

I nurse because she smiles and very softly asks for “milkie mama” and I can’t say no to that.

I nurse her because I also have an almost 8 year old who grew up fast and hardly needs me for things anymore, and I know this will be a thing of the past before long for this baby as well.

I nurse her because its a few minutes in the day that I can be still, and think, and take it all in.

I nurse her and I pray for her and I dream about who she will be and what she will do.

I nurse her because she enjoys it, and it comforts her, it helps to stop crying.. makes boo boos not hurt as much… and calms the fear of being “scared”.

I nurse her because its relaxing and we live in a fast paced world.

I nurse her because her beautiful blue eyes look up at me half the time and we can actually lock eyes in stillness instead of running after her full speed ahead like every other day.

I nurse her because I see the end coming and I know I will cry when we no longer have our quiet moments together, and it will be another sign she is growing and no longer a baby.

I nurse her because like all the other things, the last time is coming soon and there is no way to prepare for it.

I nurse her because she is MY baby and I decided to continue.

Do I love it all the time, NO! I didn’t love it all the time when she was 6 weeks or 6 months either, yes its a sacrifice, but I don’t mind. Sometimes I claim.. “thats it I’m done” and then realize I’m not telling the truth because she’ll ask again and I’ll say yes. She’s becoming more independent every day, and one day it will be the last time, but I won’t know it until it’s over…..   It’s not for everyone, or every child. But, I bet more women are doing it then you even realize, and talking about it makes it more normal, and supported.

So, I’ll finish up here and then I’ll I go nurse my toddler and lay her down in her crib for her nap after I sing her favorite song, who knows it may be the last time I ever do it… that’s what extended nursing looks like for us! 

 

 

What extended nursing looks like for us | Mama Series