It wont be like this for long | Annapolis Newborn, Family, Wedding Photographer

It wont be like this for long | Annapolis Newborn, Family, Wedding Photographer

“It wont be like this for long” is what I have been reminding myself. As a mama some days are long, and hard, and so full of life but also so exhausting. I find myself counting down the hours until bedtime some days and looking for activities to keep my littles busy. With my first child I felt as though time moved slow for the first few years, here I am now registering her for second grade. I realize that those “little kid” years, and the portion of her that reminded me how small she was is fading. With my second time is moving so fast. I literally just felt like I was discharged from Labor and delivery and now she will be one THIS MONTH.

Lately she has had some sleep disturbances. The kind that cause me to spend longer in her room then I’d really like to at bedtime. She doesnt want to be put down, or if I can manage to not wake up the baby time bomb by laying her down shes quickly awake again and waiting me back. My older one has also decided to boycott bedtime by coming up with at least 400 reasons why she shouldn’t go to sleep right now. If you’re a parent I bet you can relate… she is hungry, not just a little hungry but dying of starvation. She is thirsty, thirsty in a way that can only remind me of the a cactus waiting for a raindrop. Then she remembers something really important her teacher told her, and old injury is suddenly painful again, and then after calling the 10th time the baby is awake again.

Sometimes I quickly get annoyed, but lately I have been reminding myself….. “It wont be like this for long” I mean gosh it felt like just yesterday my baby was wearing newborn diapers and had an umbilical cord stump and now shes minutes away from walking. Babies…. children… they just don’t keep.

Lakeleigh, my 11 month old still wakes up during the night… shes my last baby do no, I don’t fight her on it.. in fact even though I have terrible dark circles under my eyes, I enjoy our midnight snuggles together, because I realize this wont go on forever. Emmaline my 6 and half year old didnt sleep through the night until she was 18 months, and then one day she just stopped.waking.up.

I actually missed it, I had no idea it was stopping it just did, and I often wonder what that last time felt like, did I sniff her baby head, and listen to her breaths as her little lips laid against my chest. There were so many things from my older daughter that I look back on and never realized that the last time was going to be the last time until it was in fact the last time. Since Lakeleigh is my last baby, I don’t want to rush this…

Of course I hear from people, from family… “Just let her cry it out”…. yes, that is an option, but not the option I am choosing. Before I know it she will be big with her sister, who sleeps like a teenager and I have to peel from her bed in the morning, but doesn’t require rocking, or lullabies to go to sleep. This is my last time doing those things for my own biological child.

So when I become frustrated for spending so much time in the nursery rocking an almost 1 year old to sleep I quickly remind myself, this could be the last time, starting tomorrow she may just put herself to sleep and no longer…… NEED… ME, at least for that task.

Last babies have a way of changing your outlook on things, when you realize you wont ever do those things for your own babies again, you hold onto them. Her infancy is literally like a handful of sand passing through the cracks in my fingers…. and while I try to hold onto those days I feel them slipping away…

So, please dont judge, please dont rush me to grow my baby up or stop carrying my almost 7 year old…. please stop asking me when I will be done nursing, or how much longer will I lay and rub my big girls back until she falls asleep. Instead lets encourage one another to enjoy these days, to soak them in and embrace them, motherhood was made for these moments of sleepy babies, and nighttime lullabies, and “mommy lay just one more minute”… and If I love anything I do most.. its being the mommy to these girls.

So excuse me again while I run upstairs to rock this tired girl listen to the sound her breathing makes as it slows down and she drifts off to sleep….. in my arms.

Click here to follow us on Facebook and Instagram

It wont be like this for long | Annapolis Newborn, Family, Wedding Photographer